Welcome To

Kcuf Recnac(tm)

(That ain't Dutch)

This web site is dedicated to causing humorosis in cancer patients.

NOT TO BE TAKEN INTERNALLY - GET YOUR TONGUE OFF THE SCREEN!!!

AND STOP VOMITING ON YOUR COMPUTER, VOMIT IN A BUCKET LIKE THE REST OF US.

"Thomas Hodgkin Died of Natural Causes" 

THINGS YOU CAN DO HERE:

VISIT MY CANCER DIARY

ADD TO OUR NATIONAL SYNONYMS FOR VOMIT LIST

VISIT EXCELLENT JOKES LINKS ON THE WEB

VISIT EXCELLENT ONCOLOGICAL, CANCER-RELATED, DISEASE RELATED SITES ON THE WEB

SEE MY BALD, RADIATION BURNED HEAD!!! (NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART)

ORDER A KCUF RECNAC MUG!  

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Who am I?

My name is Bill Clinton and I'm pissed off!  No, wait, that's from the Kcuf Rrats web site.  

My name is Steven Saltman and I recently completed treatment for Hodgkin's Disease, a malignant lymphoma (a.k.a. the malignant cancer of the lymphatic system formerly known as Prince).  Well, actually not recently anymore. I started this site in March 1996 when I was diagnosed with lymphoma. I finished treatment consisting of chemotherapy and radiation 254 days later. Now I'm NED. That's not my name, that's an acronym for No Evident Disease. This means that I am free of Thomas Hodgkin and his evil cohorts from the Planet Zorp. In fact, in August 1998 my wife gave birth to our son, Maxwell. For those of you who want to know too much, we didn't use any fancy fertility help. So, as far as chemotherapy goes, it apparently didn't affect me in THAT regard.

Treatment has affected me in other ways.  First, I am taller and better looking than I was before I was diagnosed with cancer. This is a direct result of chemotherapy.  Your doctor may not warn you about this side effect.  Be sure to ask. I wasn't warned and now I'm 6' 4" tall and blonde;  I answer to the name Roalf.

Second, I have taken up writing an occasional summary of my thoughts regarding cancer and its treatment.  These thoughts are usually in French and since I don't speak French, I have a guy named Pierre translate them for me.  Since Pierre doesn't speak French either, his translations are uniformly bad.  However, the resulting writings are sometimes funny and quite irreverent.

One day, while Pierre and I were writing my e-mail newsletter, Pierre asked me what I honestly thought about cancer. I told him in blunt language.  Pierre thought this would make a great web site name.  I thought I might get a lot of hate mail from political correctness nuts and my mother.  So we rigged up a mirror system to deflect the hate mail from the original web site and JOILA (Fr.) we were able to come up with Kcuf Recnac as the existing web site name.

Because my brain has been subjected to months and months of exposure to dangerous chemotherapy drugs, I have limited ability to use my computer for anything more advanced than a footrest.  However, by pounding away with my toes, I have created this web site. I blame cancer for any problems you may encounter with this web site and when I find the guy who gave me cancer, I'll kick the living shit (Fr.) out of him for both of us. 

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I'm still building this thing, so I apologize if the links don't link or I crash your mainframe causing you to lose the password that would have allowed you to access that secret Swiss bank account you were planning to plunder after browsing the Kcuf Recnac web site. sorry.

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Please send nausea remedies and comments to me.

Visitors:   since 1/1/97

(actually, it's a lot more than that since AOL's counter has cancer of the html)

Updated February 20, 1999

"Thomas Hodgkin Died of Natural Causes"